Katy Perry Gets Lost In Space

Generally speaking, I find Katy Perry about as attractive as Rush Limbaugh in a thong. Hence it will come as no surprise that I am not in the habit of watching her videos, even though a lot of her music is, if not great, then certainly not as hard on the ears as young moose-face herself is on the eyes.

This video though, has the hugely breasted popster so covered in makeup that I couldn’t even tell who it was until I saw all those antlers sticking out.

Despite the rather hackneyed title of “E.T” and the annoying presence of famous microphone snatcher Kanye West, the video itself is actually pretty good, with all sorts of colorful and fairly inventive Sci-Fi imagery. There’s Perry floating in space, then there’s a rusty robot, and some animals humping, then Katy turns into some sort of deer-woman (not quite a moose but close enough) and walks away with a naked albino! What it all means is anyone’s guess, but I’m pretty sure the Illuminati are somehow involved.

Watching it a second time I thought, “There’s something Floria Sigismondi-ish about this.” And sure enough, after checking the interwebs to find out what a Floria Sigismondi is, I discovered that the thing was directed by the same chick who directed Marilyn Manson’s wonderfully bizarre “Tourniquet” and “The Beautiful People”. No wonder I liked it….

On the edge of normality

For no other reason than the fact that i loved it the first time i heard it on MTV a few hours ago, here for your aural pleasure (that’s not what i mean you perverts) is Lady Gaga’s new thingie “The Edge of Glory”

This fast little number ( the song not the singer)  is my fave so far from Born This Way, and in my opinion Gaga’s best single since Bad Romance. The video is also nice, though compared to freak-girl’s usual over the top extravaganzas it’s only mildly spicy, but as Shakespeare said the music’s the thing.

Kim Kardashian Gets Her Ass X Rayed

The reality TV starlet has had her famously bootilicious rear x-rayed in a futile attempt to locate her brain.

Friends and family showed concern over the missing organ last week after Kim drove her car into the family swimming pool while swerving to avoid a tree which was later proven to be an air freshener hanging from her car’s mirror.

This and other less publicized moments of bewilderment led to Kimmy K being taken to a local clinic where first her derriere then the rest of her voluptuousness  were x-rayed, with doctors eventually finding the runaway grey matter hiding in a small corner of her skull. When asked why she didn’t ask for her skull to be the first thing x-rayed, Kim told our correspondent that the idea hadn’t even occurred to her. She then asked him if on her way home he could drive ahead of her to make sure there weren’t any trees left in the middle of the road.

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