Swine Flu My Ass!

The greatest danger to mankind  at this moment in time is not a bunch of sneezing piggies, but rather the little-reported outbreak of  pet zombification sweeping the Eastern United States.

Seen here is the late Fluffball McGuffin, of Rhode Island, who is suspected of having eaten his owner’s head. Fluffball is so far the only sufferer caught on film, the picture having been found inside a bloodstained camera lying beside his owner’s headless corpse.

According to the Centres for Disease Control, it is not yet known how this situation came about, but the epidemic is expected to spread at a very fast rate, and authorities are warning the public against approaching any animals they don’t know, especially those who are wandering around looking like roadkill.