Tired of making appearances to unbelievably ugly shepherd children in remote Portuguese pastures, the Holy Virgin has decided to start slumming it in a Californian backwater by the name of Calexico.
An image of the well known religious icon and carpenter’s wife has appeared on a local diner’s griddle while it was being cleaned. The sacred sign from heaven, which bears a suspicious resemblance to a grease stain, was validated the next day by the town priest, who declared it to be a true likeness of the Sacred Virgin. The fact that the priest, at least according to local rumor, is the illegitimate offspring of an escaped circus pinhead has discouraged none of the town’s faithful and the griddle has now been taken out of service and turned into a shrine.
Daily the pious and the devout file into the diner to gawk at this heaven-sent proof that when God was handing out the brains, quite a lot of folks were at home still asleep. The diner’s owner, whose wallet has recently shown signs of swelling, was seen kneeling in front of the greasy altar repeatedly mumbling the words “Praise the Lord for the miracle of idiocy!” in what can only be described as a religious ecstasy.
More religious ecstasy to be found here, where you can see a photo of this somewhat lame apparition, and also some Rey Mysterio wannabees looking truly awestruck.