Bo Goes Crazy

First Lady Michelle Obama has disclosed that the First Family’s pet dog Bo is suffering from an as yet undiagnosed psychiatric problem.

Mrs Obama told our correspondent, ā€œHe’s crazy! He chases cats that aren’t thereĀ and the other day he was raving about how the CIA are using spy satellites to track his movements! The children are afraid that he will soon start wearing a tin foil hat!

Since the problem became apparent a few weeks ago the children have also been leaving most of the doggie duties to mum, afraid to spend too much time alone with their increasingly disturbed pooch. ā€œHe’s definitely not getting any better,ā€ says the First Lady. ā€œThe meds aren’t helping, and that Scientology course Tom Cruise sent him did more harm than good – now he’s set up a shrine to L. Ron Hubbard in his kennel!ā€

Mrs Obama also made an emotional appeal to the nation’s greatest authority on psychological woes. ā€œDr Phil, please, please help my dog! He’s going off the rails and if something isn’t done soon I’m afraid he’ll shave his head or release a sex tape!ā€

Dr Phil was unavailable for comment.

Sorority Row – What’s that noise?

“I can haz the exemption?”

East Boston feline Sal Esposito has been called up for jury duty. Apparently Mr Esposito’s habit of whizzing in his neighbor’s yard and bringing home dead mice isn’t dissuading the authorities from wanting him to perform his civic duty.

How could something this crazy happen? Well, it seems that on the last census Mr Esposito’s owners listed him as a pet, but somewhere along the line the bureaucrats forgot he wasn’t human. His owners tried to get him excused by pointing out that Sal can’t speak English, but the jury commissioner wasn’t buying it so Sal is still expected in court on March 23!

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