I Guess A Big Angry Bear Isn’t Much Use Against A Pissed Off Martian…

Shock news today, as Russia reveals it does not have the capabilities to fight off hordes of invading aliens. That’s space aliens, not the guy who does your gardening.

A Russian defense official has let it slip that the Aerospace Defense Forces, formerly known by the far more descriptive and succinct name of the Space Forces, would not be able to cope with any large scale invasion by extraterrestrial unfriendlies, though they claim that they would have no trouble dealing with one lone visitor who just wants to go home.

Apparently some reporter with nothing better to do and too much Vodka in his belly asked the highly pertinent question during a media conference held at something called the “Titov Main Test and Space Systems Control Center” which is responsible for controlling Russia’s satellites, a.k.a Russia’s Alien Detection System.

Presumably while holding back a snicker, Sergey Berezhnoy, the facility’s deputy chief replied

“So far we are not capable of that. We are unfortunately not ready to fight extraterrestrial civilizations,”

But… what happens when this guy comes calling?