Ask Ambrose
Dear Ambrose
I smell worse after a shower than before. What could be causing this?
Signed
Stinky in Buffalo Springs
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Dear Stinky in Buffalo Springs
I am unable to help as you do not state what it is that you are showering with. If your location is anything to go by you may be showering in something not meant to be used in such a way. Also, if you have recently had a lice problem you may be showering in kerosene, which would certainly explain the smell.
More realistic explanations include the possibility that it is not so much you as your bathroom that stinks. This is a problem easily solved by flushing the toilet more often and/or placing used toilet paper in the toilet bowl rather than the wastebasket. The other thing that comes to mind is that there is something wrong with your nose. I don’t mean to imply anything, but perhaps it has become overly sensitive due to excessive cocaine use.
Hoping I have been of some help,
Ambrose
Dancing Squirrels?
I don’t know precisely what the hell is going on here, but it looks as if a giant, mentally deranged
squirrel has stormed onto the stage in order to make a fool of the other performers. Or maybe it’s
some sort of new terrorist tactic! Oh my god, exploding squirrels!
They tank him up on Vodka, then send the poor bastard into a crowded place
and blow him up by remote control!
What terrible weapon will those evil bastards think of next?