Excerpts From My Diary  July 2010

July 17  2010

Today it occurred to me that a good idea for a movie would be the story of The Civil War acted out by Mallard ducks. Who would direct?

July 19  2010

12.53 pm

Suggested my Duck Civil War idea to Steven over lunch. He told me he was fascinated but could not take on the project as duck is not kosher. I fear he is being evasive. Not only do I know for a fact that duck is kosher, but Steven’s argument was not helped by the fact that he was devouring a lobster at the time.

4.56 pm

Have had to abandon the duck civil war idea as PETA threatened legal action over the impending duck carnage. Perhaps it could be done using claymation ducks – might Aardman be interested?

I see a brilliant oratory scene where Abraham Lincoln delivers the Gettysburg Address while deftly evading a maniacal Colonel Sanders.

July 22nd

Despite amending the idea to involve claymation ducks, the response continues to be less than favorable, ranging from Jerry Levin’s “Who let this loon into my office ?” to Roger Corman’s “That’s the stupidest thing i’ve ever heard.”

Andrew Vajna even told me that if he were to make such a film, it would be his worst mistake since deciding to finance Cutthroat Island rather than finish Arnold’s “The Crusades”. Given that this latter action sent Carolco bankrupt i think Andy is gilding the lily somewhat.

Still, i am not a man to give up easily, and you mark my words – those unimaginative Hollywood hacks have yet to hear the last of Ambrose Mugwump.