Worried over her deteriorating image amongst the American public, Lindsay Lohan has appeared on Ellen, so to speak, to reveal that she is neither dangerous nor dating the NFL. Lilo also tells us that she would never cheat because that’s what daddy did to mommy, and that she can’t possibly be dangerous enough to warrant a restraining order cos she’s such a cute little thing.

According to my confidential sources, after taping stopped Lohan was overheard whispering to Ellen “Hey, wanna make out after the show?” to which Ellen was heard to reply “Hey you’re a sweet kid, but you know these Italian girls, they’ve got tempers on ‘em. I’m up for some jelly wrestling though.”

A court has found the curvaceous pop queen still too loony to manage her own affairs.

Apparently some of Brit’s former cohorts want to get their hands on her money so she has taken out restraining orders against them. They have retaliated by demanding that the crazy cutie testify in court, but the judge has decided Britney can’t do so because she is still mad as a weasel.

According to an L.A Superior Court Judge, Brit Brit isn’t  “mentally fit to make her own breakfast, much less serious legal decisions.”

More here.