Presented now for your amusement is Jessie J’s new video – you remember Jessie J, she did that song about doing it like a dude. But this is a family friendly site so we won’t be going into that…

In this new opus, Ms J seems to be having some sort of crisis of conscience over her past bad behavior, possibly involving sexual guilt over the theme of her earlier song, or maybe it’s that fur coat she’s wearing at the beginning.

As the video starts Jesse seems to be hosting a family gathering which bears a more than passing resemblance to a cast party for an Ed Wood movie. She then runs out on the festivities in order to take a dip in what appears to be motor oil, only to be harangued by dozens of bodiless mouths!

Even though we never really find out what has the poor girl feeling so contrite, our repentant heroine’s lyrics do make mention of not treating her loved ones the way they deserve to be treated, but as Jessie’s folks seem to be escapees from Arkham Asylum one must assume that Jess isn’t totally to blame for the familial discord.

Generally speaking, I find Katy Perry about as attractive as Rush Limbaugh in a thong. Hence it will come as no surprise that I am not in the habit of watching her videos, even though a lot of her music is, if not great, then certainly not as hard on the ears as young moose-face herself is on the eyes.

This video though, has the hugely breasted popster so covered in makeup that I couldn’t even tell who it was until I saw all those antlers sticking out.

Despite the rather hackneyed title of “E.T” and the annoying presence of famous microphone snatcher Kanye West, the video itself is actually pretty good, with all sorts of colorful and fairly inventive Sci-Fi imagery. There’s Perry floating in space, then there’s a rusty robot, and some animals humping, then Katy turns into some sort of deer-woman (not quite a moose but close enough) and walks away with a naked albino! What it all means is anyone’s guess, but I’m pretty sure the Illuminati are somehow involved.

Watching it a second time I thought, “There’s something Floria Sigismondi-ish about this.” And sure enough, after checking the interwebs to find out what a Floria Sigismondi is, I discovered that the thing was directed by the same chick who directed Marilyn Manson’s wonderfully bizarre “Tourniquet” and “The Beautiful People”. No wonder I liked it….